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| 1993 |
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Born in Florida on April 13, 1993. |
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| 1996 |
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Passed away on September 23, 1996 at the age of 3. |
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| I have conceived ! |
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July 1992 I became pregnant with Sarah Elizabeth Grace, my life is wonderful. I am already a mother of a precious boy, Ian 9 months old. My husband German and I are attending classes to adobt a child when German needs surgery for testical cancer. We have to stop classes, and we are told that as a result of his surgery we will probably not have any more children. It is early September and I find out I am already with child. Our hearts leap, our vessels can not contain such joy. After having Ian in a birthing center we feel the Lord is leading us to have this baby in our home. We know we are to have midwifes but the Lord waits untill Jan,1993 before he leads us to the birth ministry of Geneva. During pregnancy my only concern was I wasn't gaining alot of weight, but I was confident that the Lord had everything in his hands with protection. This is still true God does have everything under His control the difference is that our ways are not His Ways and at times they are completly opposite. April 12,1993 I start labor all is well compaired to the birth of Ian, this is a piece of cake. I stopped working the week we were off for Easter so I am home with Ian. I called German at work tell him I am in labor but there is plenty of time. When German gets home from work we call the midewifes but tell them everything is fine there is plenty of time. At 2:20am April 13,1993 without even pushing a beautiful baby arrives in our bedroom. In our inexpierence and hurry to keep the baby warm we immediatly wrap the baby up. German the Proud Daddy announces we have our Micah Caleb and all is well. The midewifes arrive twenty minutes later. Daddy starts to prepare a bath for our baby, when he is surprised by extremley joyfull laughter. Could it be twins? Upon re-entering the room the midwifes announce the arrival of Sarah Elizabeth Grace, our baby Daughter. In our hast German saw the umbilical cord and announced the child as a boy when really all this time it was our Sarah. I cannot adequatly describe my joy. I was complete knowing I had a wonderful baby boy, but now I have a baby girl. I am not sure it was because she was a girl, but that it was because she was Sarah that alone was special enough. I waited my entire life for her, and now I had my Sarah Elizabeth Grace and she was so beautiful. I don't remember if she cried but I don't think she did. I was still trying to deliver the plancenta so German gave her the first bath. When he brought her back to me her hair stood straight up 2inch spike. She was absolutly beautiful. Her hair and eyes were dark yet her skin was so fair. She was only 6lbs.1oz. so tiny. We had one premey outfit that she had to wear alot because every thing was so big. When Sarah would wake up at night to feed I would let her sleep on my chest. Nothing could have been better, I appreciated every minute, I loved her with all my heart, but in the light of the present. Nothing would have been good enough. Sarah was a perfect baby. She only cried when hungry, never fusses. She was so content such a joy to be around such an easy baby. She loves her big brother Ian and is fastinated with him and what he is able to do. Sarah loves her swing and little baby. My friend Denise gives me two small binky's and Sarah will only take them because the others are to big. During the months we lose both and Sarah who is content with all things gets along without them especially with her brother 18 months older still loving his binky. Sarah would love to take Ian's binky away. Sarah was a very quiet baby. Sarah had a Mickey Mouse gym that she would talk and squeel to. Sarah is so gentle, she loves babies a baby herself but she is fasinated with babies and dolls. Sarah is absolutly beautiful chid, her hair dark black with precious curls, her skin is as white as snow, her eyes beautiful blue what a combination. She has her mothers hips and thighs but she is always tiny. Sarah always looked older than other babies because of her abundance of hair. Everywhere we go people must stop and say beautiful she is. I start to feel a little sorry for Ian because although thay always say something about Ian and his hair because he is also adorable they are simply amazed with Sarah's beauty. My children were always so independent and I always thought that was great because they were happy, secure, felt loved, were adventurist, and well adjusted. Looking back I wish they would have clung to me, needed me more I miss holding Sarah so much. I can only say no matter what I had it never never would have been enough ever. Even if I haher every second of everyday it would not have been enough. We had to keep books away from Sarah she must have liked the sound of tearing because she would rip the pages right out. Sarah was not in a hurry to crawl, or walk. She was quite satisified and amuzed with Ian getting her whatever she happened to want Ian enjoyed performing for her and helping her. Sarah was never sick. Dr. Ross kept insisting that I get her immunized so I took her for her firstshot it was horrible to hear her scream and cry. Right after that she started getting colds. We knew then that we would not get any more. It made her sick and we believed that God was in control. I had two babies with bottles that would lie in our bed we had so much love they were so much fun. People would ask if they were twins, they looked alot alike. I enjoyed so much dressing them up for church. What a wonderful little family. Daddy, mommy, a son and a daughter, does it get much better than this? |
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| Soon after her death missing Sarah so |
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I was born to be married and have children, I told my mother when I was a child I wanted 32 children. German and I always had a great love for children. So here we are, we waited so long I was 34 German 42 Of course we would say we want as many as the Lord will give us but we Never thought He would Take away. I always thought of Him as a giver. He gave us His Son, He gives us life, grace, etc. I only thought He took away our sin. Not our eternal gifts. Do not bother with the things of this world but keep your mind and heart on eternal things. I was on track What happen, Why, and How are we going to live without Sarah, my baby, our daughter, our only daughter. If I would have been asked to dream up the perfect daughter, Sarah would have far exceeded all of my dreams. Of course she had her moments as every child does but they were so few. Like not wanting to do Mommy and me wanting to do it her own way. Dinner at Nanie's and Pappy Pete's she wouldn't have enough nap and she would whine and act spoiled. not wanting to go to Nanie's while I went to work. That kills me inside if I knew I Never would have left her. If I would have been a perfect mom for Sarah not for me, but maybe I wouldn't feel so much guilt. Why was I so busy. Why didn't I take the time, and How do I live with this. Sarah didn't like chocolate she thought it was dirt. One time she saw M&M's she thought it would be good all the pretty colors. Oh but when she put it in her mouth it was yuk! She was such a little lady, the way she held herself. The way she moved her head, held her hands she knew she was a lady. She always wanteds a dress and on times when she covered her head it was angelic. She loved Mary she had several little Mary's that she would always hold. At Nanie Olfelia's she would go into her bedroom where she had a statue of Mary and just sit and talk and stroke the Mary statue. We would find her in there whispering, stroking, or just gazzing at her. Sarah's favorite color was geen (green) and she loved spaghetti, she would eat two plates. She loved cake but only Van.,they would put the whipped cream right in their mouth from the bottle. Sarah would put black olives on her finger tips then eat them off. Ian liked the dessert Dirt, but for Sarah we made sand with van. cookies instead of chocolate. Bathe time babies was always a fun time Sarah would sitin her tub ring and they would bring every toy they could find into the tub. They loved filling empty soap bottles with water and pouring. One time I heard them them say let's play doctor a little concerned I went in, they were playing Dr. David the dentist and fixing each others teeth. Oh how wonderful they played together they were never apart, each so separet little people but yet so woven together. Sarah would always intiate the play or what they would play but once Sarah decided Ian would take over at times Ian would want it his way and you would her Sarah say "Ian" in the way she would speak his name, You "silly head" and he would give in because more than having his way He loved playing with her something now he deseperatly misses and hurts him deeply. The first time Sarah went to the beach she really didn't like the sand and was sacered of the waves. The second time she ate the sand I washed it out of her mouth and she ate another mouth full. She eventually loved the beach the sand digging with toys, making holes filling them with water, and making sand meatballs with seaweed spagetti. Sarah hated her face wet for 3 years she cried when I washed her hair as much as I would try not to wet her face she would just scream in fear that it might get in her face. During swimming lessons the teacher tryed to get Sarah to put her face in and the last day she put her eye in Sarah was so proud. I loved swimming at the Y with Sarah because when she wasn't swimming she would sit on the steps with her dolls and let me hold her. |
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